close your eyes and die.

shards of the kitchen window catching the sunlight
it's sickening to watch it fall, ten stories down.
it's sickening to go after it, to be among it,
crashing your last couch.
laughing out loud, because what else is there to do?
close your eyes and miss the sunshine sparks?
that lone dog wandering the parking lot?
might as well smoke that last cigarette
drag it in with the paint fumes and carbon monoxide
running up off the street.
might as well hold your hand over flame to feel pain
one last time.
cuz you ain't feeling nothing at the end of this ride.
call your sister, your mother, your father, your brother, your friends, your wife, your kid, your grandma, your lover, your other lover, your dog sitter, your baby sitter, your baby sister.
might as well have bought that lottery ticket, that last bowl of chronic, might as well have gotten one last jerk in.
but man! what a way to go!

or, ........

moonlight on the bourbon

moonlight on the bourbon
and murder on the brain
caught a glimpse of your intentions
then caught the midnight train

now i'm headin' south to georgia
won't be comin' round again
won't be fallin for your skirt tails
won't be shakin' by your skin

oh there's moonlight on the bourbon
and a killer on the run
there's the smell of blood and entrails
sulfur rising from the gun

you spent your last night preaching
how you're nothing like the son
just another long gone loner
seeking shelter from the sun

oh you've felt the pull of that mighty pole
you've never known what for
you've just been leaking out your life blood
letting it puddle on the floor

and the bastards keeping tabs on you
they've banned you from this town
sent you scramblin' from the moonlight
sent you runnin underground..

best poem

she bends over the rice bin
and tells a dirty joke
the kind my grandma used to tell
i laugh, chuckle is more like it
jokes just aren't funny anymore
nothing is funny, it's all just ironic
ironic and sick and sad.
so, i pushed her into the rice bin.
she didn't laugh.
i told her a dirty joke involving her mother
two llamas and the dahli lama.
she punched me in the face
then laughed.
i never knew blood was so funny.
i pushed the rice bin into her.
and made a porn using pixels
and a highly rendered model
of princess diana's hand.
nobody thought that was funny,
but i laughed my ass off
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
seriously. this all happened.
just ask the dummy with rice
in her hair, rice everywhere!

it's all nothing.

If you'll carry the cold tube,
the compress, the last leg, and the jar
of peanuts, i'll make a pillow out of the
longness of your neck.

I'll watch the fall come and go
and leaves burn scorched marks
on the sidewalks of our hometown
and winter it can go too.

Everything can go, it's all going
anyway. the universe expanding outward
always, and always us going after it.
chasing paper trails and tails, tales
and tailing ponds.

forget it. forget it and everything.
forgive it and forget everything.
forge your smile, your stance,
your brilliance- of all these,
for all these, you are nothing.

if you'll carry the lipstick
i'll burn the effigy.
born still as the dogs breath
dying out.

floodgate '93

those blankets they carried my fears

and spread out like nightmares

another thousand years and all but blinded

by the light of your lie

these houses they carry the flood

and bring back everything but blood

your picture is leaking light

i guess now is the time to say goodbye

narrow little stairs and stars to wide

to span with one hand

narrow little stairs and stars that start to hide

under the kitchen chairs

those pea thick soup light streets

of new orleans are lying to us all

saying they'll catch us if we fall

but they're falling off- a long way off

and you can't catch them anymore

slipping through some nicotined yellow fingers

sparking when they hit the running board

gunning the last gate out past the flood plains